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"What’s Wrong with Some of Our Sisters?
Sometimes, as men, we just sit and ask ourselves: What’s really going on with some of our African sisters these days? This is not to generalize or disrespect anyone, but let’s talk openly and honestly.
A friend of mine recently called off his engagement with a woman he truly loved. Everything seemed perfect—until one major issue kept popping up. Every time he asked her to accompany him to visit his mother, she would make excuses.
“She’s sick,”
“She’s tired,”
“She has work,”
“She’s not in the mood.”
The list went on.
At first, he gave her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she was shy. Maybe she just needed time. But it kept happening. Finally, he sat her down and asked: “What is really the issue with you and my mother?”
That’s when she confessed—she simply didn’t like the idea of a mother-in-law. She said she didn’t want to be “disturbed” or “controlled” by an elderly woman she didn’t know. She made it clear that she preferred a relationship without any involvement from his mother.
Now pause and think about that.
This is a woman who has a mother of her own. A woman who would want her future children to respect her. But she can’t even give her partner’s mother a chance. She judged a woman she had never truly met. How does that make sense
My friend didn’t shout. He didn’t insult her. He simply ended the relationship. He told her: “If you can’t even try to know my mother, if you can’t make peace with the fact that she’s part of my life, then how can we build a home together?”
And he’s right.
Marriage is not just about two people—it’s about families.
It doesn’t mean you have to live under your mother-in-law’s roof or take orders from her, but basic respect is not too much to ask. Even an effort to know her. A visit. A greeting. A phone call.
We all know some mothers-in-law can be difficult—yes. But not all of them. And certainly not one you haven’t even tried to meet.
So, to my sisters: if you’re serious about marriage, understand that family matters. If you expect your partner to respect your parents, you must also be willing to respect his. You don’t have to be best friends, but at least give the relationship a chance.
Because, truth is—if a man has to choose between his mother and a woman who refuses to even greet her, he will walk away. And rightly so.
Let’s do better.
What are your thoughts on this? Have you had a similar experience? Let’s talk in the comments.