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Title: “I Lost a Good Man Because of a Pastor – My Biggest Regret”
Three years ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life—and I carry that regret with me every day.
Back then, I was in love with a good man. He was kind, respectful, hardworking, and had a heart that genuinely cared for me. We had dreams, plans, and a future we were building together. But before we could take the next step toward marriage, I followed the advice of someone I thought was hearing from God—my pastor.
My pastor had always told us, “Before you marry anyone, introduce the person to me. I need to confirm if they are right for you.” Out of respect for my faith and the spiritual authority I believed in, I took my man to meet him. That meeting changed everything.
Without even getting to know him, the pastor looked at me and said, “This man is not good for you. He is an unbeliever. He doesn’t come to our church.”
I was confused. This man believed in God, but he didn’t attend our church. Was that really enough reason to cancel everything? I asked questions, but the answer was always the same: “He is not from here. He’s not one of us. He’s not spiritually aligned with your calling.”
Torn between love and loyalty to my church, I made the worst decision—I let him go.
And here I am today, three failed marriages later. Yes, three. I ignored my heart, ignored God’s peace, and followed a man’s voice over God's direction. The same pastor who told me to leave the one who loved me never helped me fix the brokenness that followed. Each time I returned for guidance, the same shallow advice came, and each time it led me into more pain.
Now I look back, and I see clearly: no man has the final say over your life—only God does. Not every person who calls themselves “pastor” is truly led by the Spirit. Some are driven by control, fear, or tradition. I learned the hard way that your relationship with God must be personal, not filtered through someone else’s opinion.
To every woman, to every man reading this: seek God for yourself. Let your faith be rooted in your personal walk with Him. Yes, pastors and leaders are important, but they are not God. They do not hold your future in their hands—God does.
If someone loves you, respects you, and shares your values, pray about it. Talk to God. Don’t lose your blessing because someone else couldn’t see it. I lost a good man because I let someone else decide for me. Please don’t make the same mistake.
May my story be your warning and your wisdom.
— A Woman Who Learned the Hard Way