SEE WHY LIVING A FAKE LIFE CAN DESTROY YOU

 A Wise Woman’s Take on Modern Relationships"

The other day, I overheard an elderly woman say something so simple, yet so powerful, that it’s been echoing in my mind ever since:

“It’s unfortunate how people don’t want to build a relationship—they just want to enjoy one. Both men and women are running from the responsibility of building something peaceful. The mindset of this generation is different. That’s why there are so many broken homes today.”

In just a few words, she summed up what many of us have been feeling, but perhaps haven’t had the courage—or wisdom—to say out loud.

The Illusion of Instant Gratification

We live in a fast-paced world. Everything is at our fingertips—food, entertainment, validation. So it’s no surprise that many people expect relationships to work the same way. We want love, comfort, loyalty, and emotional support—but we don’t want the long conversations, the emotional labor, the forgiveness, or the patience that real love demands.

Building a peaceful, lasting relationship is like tending a garden. It takes time, attention, and care. You don’t get flowers overnight—you have to plant seeds, water them, protect them from storms, and sometimes prune them for growth. But instead, too many of us are standing in the garden with our arms crossed, wondering why nothing's blooming.

Equal Responsibility, Shared Effort

The wise woman’s words ring especially true because she didn’t point fingers at one gender. She said both men and women are running from responsibility. And she’s right.

Too many men avoid vulnerability, seeing it as weakness instead of the bridge to deeper connection. Too many women are exhausted from trying to hold it all together without feeling truly seen or supported. Somewhere along the way, both sides stopped building—and started bargaining.

Relationships aren’t transactions. They’re not about what you get from someone, but what you create together. That takes effort, and it’s not always easy—but it’s always worth it.

A Shift in Mindset

The mindset of this generation is heavily influenced by media, quick dopamine hits, and fear of “missing out.” Many people are more concerned with looking like they’re in a happy relationship than actually building one. Social media shows us the highlight reel, not the behind-the-scenes reality.

But the truth is, no app can match the fulfillment of a relationship that’s been through trials, grown through hard conversations, and matured with time.

The Cost of Avoiding the Work

When we avoid the hard work of building trust, resolving conflict, and growing together, we end up with broken homes, broken hearts, and broken expectations. Children grow up watching emotional instability and begin to see it as normal. Cycles repeat. And we wonder why love feels so hard to find.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

Final Thoughts

Maybe it’s time we stop chasing the idea of love and start learning how to build love. Maybe we need to stop running from responsibility and start running toward understanding, patience, and growth.

As that wise woman said—it’s unfortunate how things have shifted. But it’s not irreversible. If each of us decides to take responsibility for the relationships we’re part of—romantic or otherwise—we can start to rebuild what’s been lost.

Because peace in a relationship doesn’t come by chance.

It comes by choice.